The Book of Snubs

A witty and wide-ranging anthology of snubs of each variety--from literature and from life--most genuine, a number of apocryphal, all memorable. incorporated during this assortment are a few selection put-downs via such celebrated previous masters as William Shakespeare, Woodrow Wilson, Groucho Marx, Mark Twain, Dorothy Parker, and Winston Chruchill.

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I easily concept a few of them seemed fairly drained. ' 'I am getting relatively conversant in being snubbed by means of Lupin, and that i don't brain being sat upon through Carrie, simply because i feel she has a specific amount of correct to take action; yet I do imagine it challenging to be without delay snubbed by means of spouse, son, and either my site visitors. Gowing and Cummings had dropped in throughout the night, and that i all of sudden remembered a unprecedented dream I had a number of nights in the past, and that i concept i'd inform them approximately it. I dreamt I observed a few large blocks of ice in a store with a shiny glare in the back of them. I walked into the store and the warmth used to be overpowering. i discovered that the blocks of ice have been on fireplace. the whole lot was once so genuine and but so supernatural I awakened in a chilly perspiration. Lupin in a such a lot contemptuous demeanour, stated: 'What utter rot. ' earlier than i'll answer, Gowing acknowledged there has been not anything so thoroughly dull as different people's goals. I appealed to Cummings, yet he acknowledged he used to be sure to consider the others and my dream used to be particularly nonsensical. I stated: 'It appeared so genuine to me. ' Gowing responded: 'Yes, to you probably, yet to not us. ' Whereupon all of them roared. Carrie, who had hitherto been quiet, acknowledged: 'He tells me his silly goals each morning approximately. ' I spoke back: 'Very good, expensive, I promise you i'll by no means let you know or anyone else one other dream of mine the longest day I reside. ' Lupin stated: 'Hear! listen! ' and helped himself to a different glass of beer. the topic used to be thankfully replaced, and Cummings learn a best article at the superiority of the bicycle to the pony. GEORGE AND WEEDON GROSSMITH The Diary of a no one, 1892 Trapped by way of a membership bore Lord Randolph Churchill was once eager to get away. Seeing one of many membership servants he known as him over and prompt him: 'Listen till his lordship finishes,' then beat a hasty retreat. At a celebration for a personal view an enthusiastic admirer bore down upon Whistler and attempted to begin up a talk: 'Oh, Mr Whistler, you recognize merely the opposite day I handed your place and ... ' 'Thank you,' stated Whistler and moved rapidly on. William R. Travers, an American legal professional recognized for either his stammer and his prepared wit, have been seated subsequent to a dreary and opinionated guy in the course of dinner. the fellow finally felt it used to be time to attract Travers into the dialog and, bearing on the sooner a part of the meal, requested: 'Do you're thinking that oysters have brains? ' 'Y-y-yes,' answered Travers pointedly, 'J-j-j-just sufficient b-b-b-brains to k-keep their m-mouths sh-sh-shut. ' while the Women's Institute began on the flip of the century, they have been made up our minds to move classification obstacles. One president remarked with pride: 'We have performed rather well; we have now elected 5 women, 5 girls and one school-teacher. ' SIMON GOODENOUGH Jam and Jerusalem Horatio Bottomley went to work out Lord Cholmondley. while the butler responded the door Bottomley introduced: 'I have come to determine Lord Chol-mond-ley. ' 'Lord Chumley,' stated the butler patronizingly. 'All correct then,' acknowledged Bottomley, unabashed, 'tell him it is Mr Bumley to determine him.

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