As some of you know in reading my previous postings, I wear a yellow Live Strong bracelet every day.  This bracelet was given to me by my nephew to wear during Ironman Wisconsin.  Zachary received the bracelet during his first stem cell transplant.  Zachary seems to be a bit of an overachiever and has two types of Lymphoma.  He has been in treatment for almost two years.  I have been with him and his family at the Lied Transplant Center at the University of Omaha since we flew him out here suddenly on January 21st 2008.

    
The Lied Transplant Center is a leader in transplants and cancer treatment.  Their motto, "Serious Medicine, Extraordinary Care", is an understatement.  As part of Team Zachary, we have the opportunity to stay with other families and patients in an on site facility.  The last nine days have been a humbling experience for me as I share in Zachary's life and the lives of the patients and families around me.

Each day, if our schedule allows, I try to go for a run in very hilly Omaha.  Is it just me, or does it seem the Universe intends for me to always run in communities with hills the size of small mountains?  I do this after being in the presence of people who may never run much less walk again.  I thought my efforts to be an Ironman were worthy and damn hard.  I had no idea that they pale in comparison to the perseverance required to choose to live and sometimes to choose to die.

I am surrounded by people who may feel that they have lost their dignity but in fact they express their dignity in every breath and test they endure.  I am surrounded by people who must make incredibly hard decisions that make my daily thoughts and actions trite in comparison.  I am surrounded by humanity and am left panting in it's wake. 

Perhaps the allure of trying to accomplish the impossible is really about the quest to deny death.  I am realizing that my bracelet signifies my choice to choose life but not simply.  I am also choosing to accept my death and subsequent suffering as an inevitable conclusion.  I am going to continue to look at my bracelet during my bleak/existential moments and think of Zachary and his ability to choose life and endure.  I am honored to be a part of this amazing experience and to be touched in ways that I have yet to fully appreciate. 
         

  

 

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